A subtle feeling of déjà vu pervades my day, on this the 24th day before graduation.
For the past few weeks, my sights had been set on the East Coast, on a (hardly) paid summer program for legal translation and interpretation at the Manhattan D.A.’s office, and perhaps a traineeship at the OAS in Washington, D.C. for the rest of the year.
This brings me back to almost the very same date, April 28th, exactly one year ago, when I found out I had not gotten the internship in Geneva with the World Intellectual Property Organization that I had been dying to get. Then as today, my heart sank to the bottom of my stomach, as all of a sudden my very near future looked a bit uncertain. What would I do with the four months in front of me? That thought did not come to me because I lacked imagination: I could easily invent a million things that I could do with myself with all that free time. That huge backlog of projects, ideas that were yet to hatch, would afford me a perfect excuse to stay put and enjoy. After all, when would I have another opportunity like this to have three whole months to myself, no job, no school, no responsibilities? Still, the thought of all that dead space, after months of running around from one place to another, seemed scary for a moment. But just for a moment.
For I quickly realized not having that internship –or this one–, or an actual job (apart from freelance work) did not have to mean that I was going to float for months in professional limbo like a deadbeat translator who remains mired in mediocrity. Stunned at first, I quickly recovered and understood that, as always in my life, clear-cut choices are just not for me. I then saw the road fork in front of me towards dozens of possible paths. I then took to the road and discovered wonderful things.
I tell myself that I was just never meant to settle, or maybe, in the end, it all comes from me: I refuse to settle. Ever errant, the path is in front of me and I embrace it. Only when I do so, I am truly free. After all, the choosing of my name (according to my father) was in part inspired by the character in Born Free, that 60’s movie about a couple and their pet lion Elsa. So I’ll be like the lion, truly wild at heart.
(In other words, I’ll figure it out.)
To my readers (if I have any), good luck in all your endeavors. Wherever this crazy world takes you, I only hope that, for those of you whose paths are currently intertwined with mine, our paths will cross again and again and again.
Onwards and upwards!